Rob Ford Crackstarter Campaign Hits a Snag, & Could the Video Be Faked?

As the Indiegogo crowdsourcing campaign rolls towards reaching the goal of $200,000 to spring for the alleged video of Rob Ford smoking crack, there appears to be a few snags.  Gawker editor John Cook who is one of the three people in the world claiming to have seen the video, released a statement Thursday evening that there has been no contact with the owner of the lurid video since May 19th.

See the original cached page here.

On top of that, a commenter on the Gawker update has linked to a cached job posting in search of a Rob Ford Look-a-like to appear on camera "smoking a cigar and chuckling..."  The posting is more than a year old however and it's hard to imagine a performance could be so convincing that two Toronto Star reporters would risk, well everything in breaking the story in print.

Still, no end to the twists in turns in this surreal start to the summer for Canada's largest city -- silence from the "accused," a show of brotherly love, and a fired chief of staff.

The Best Movie I Saw This Weekend

Our simmering ball of rage, Boba Cash returns to share the silver lining he found after a long weekend of messes on all levels of Canadian politics... 

I’m a cynic, a massive fucking cynic.  A volcano ready to erupt at every single person who aims below their capability as a basic human being.  This week in Canadian (and American) politics justifies every mouth-breathing tea partier, when the senate is paying each other off, and fucking over the public with wanton disregard.  So I collapse and retreat to sharpen my blade, turning off the TV, righteous in my trust in only myself.

"I can't know everything my senators are up to -- it's not my job
to know who got what money from who's Chief of Staff..."

In my shit-zone of a bitter and angry worldview, my back slipped Friday afternoon.  I could blame the volunteer who broke my chair, or the years of manual labour, but it is also stress and exhaustion playing Mesoamerican Ballcourt with my lower back.  My weekend was spent lying on the deck of the the good ship HMS Painkillers & Wine. 

Good for what ails ya.

On Sunday, I saw one of the best movies seen in a long time.  The pain that left me feeling like everything from my elbows to my knees were glowing white hot in nerve-twisting pain dissipated for two hours.

Why is Grown Ups the best movie (going against the flow on this one) I’ve seen in a long time? It lacks something that society now worships and injects into every corner of entertainment.  Cynicism.  I dare you; this film is completely devoid of cynicism. 

Finding this little movie was refreshing.  I was wrong.  I railed against it for many years, decrying it as simplistic drivel meant to keep the masses asleep.  How I was wrong.  Grown Ups was fun.  It touched a little bit of humanity I thought I drowned in bourbon, disappointment, and resentment, a long time ago.  

It hearkens back to the old summer camp adventure movies.  No, Grown Ups doesn’t challenge you, but then again it doesn’t pull everything out from under you.  And Grown Ups doesn’t breed distrust that is so richly deserved in modern society.  Adam Sandler and company just ask that you have a bit of fun as a bunch of past-their-prime guys realize what is important in life. 

I dare you, let your guard down for an hour and a bit.  It is on Netflix, it can be purchased, and there is a sequel coming out soon.  

You never know, you just might enjoy yourself. 

P.S. I also watched Kon-Tiki and it is a fantastic journey to take as well:

The Tragic Comedy of Mayor McCheese

Even though this pic is being circulated it isn't from the video itself, also the fellow with only one finger on the left, Kwado Mensah was a football player coached by Rob Ford. Mensah was shot dead April 25th.

The Mayoralty of Canada's largest city is being held ransom by a crack dealer. Just for lolz.

Apparently now Rob Ford is a crack head hell-bent on destroying the reputation of his world-class city.  Or he is being set up through malicious lies put forth by journalists who have had it out for him since day one.  In any case, whatever the truth is, the alleged video allegedly shows an alleged Rob Ford smoking what is alleged to be crack-cocaine from an alleged pipe.

And the viable anonymous source of the video is a crack dealer who originally offered the video  for the price of $40,000 to The Toronto Star, a paper allegedly run by far-left elites with an alleged vendetta against the Mayor of Simpleton.  Although the story was broke by Gawker, the same site which has brought us awesome documents like a former Whole Foods employees searing attack on the company, The Star had been investigating long standing claims of Rob Ford's alleged substance abuse issues, albeit nothing more than alcohol, until the Gawker story forced their hands.

Since breaking on Thursday night, we know only that three people have seen the video in question.  Apart from Gawker's John Cook, two Star journalists Kevin Donovan and Robyn Doolittle have given their first hand accounts of viewing the alleged video, which has left them little doubt as to its authenticity.  The circumstances of the viewings has been the same, meeting up with drug dealers in the back seat of a car to watch the screen of a phone clutched in the hand of a crackhead.  You cannot deny the whole affair leaves everyone needing a shower.

What has been fascinating to watch has been the Mayor's avoidance of the issue beyond a quick "it's ridiculous, it's just the Toronto Star out to get me," which has become his token statement for every escapade during his term in office.  Equally fascinating has been to watch his supporters and detractors take the polarizing positions of denial and glee.

Ford will hold a press conference on Monday in which he goddamn needs to be clear one way or the other.  Either this video is real and he must resign, though it has yet to be authenticated or seen by anyone other than those who broke the story --my fav part is that the alleged Ford in the video is saying all sorts of "Rob Fordish" stuff that you would expect to hear from a parody sketch performed with sock puppets-- "I'm right wing!" "Justin Trudeau is a fag!" etc.  On the other hand, the video may be some altered or otherwise elaborate forgery in which case Ford will need to come out swinging and a-suing everyone involved for defamation.

As the weekend rolls along and we wait for some resolution to the story, a campaign on Indiegogo is steadily raising the cash to purchase the video from the crack dealer, the only alleged source of the video.  Myself, I'm an agnostic as yet, since there really is nothing beyond eyewitness testimony and a pattern of erratic behaviour that makes such an allegation seem possible.  It's the custodian of the video that for me throws a wrench into the works for everyone as the crack dealer is now demanding $200,000 before he releases the video to anyone.

Again, the Mayor's future is being held to ransom by a sketchy crack dealer.  My prediction, and I have a burger bet riding on this, is that the video is genuine but no one will ever see it.  the Indiegogo campaign will raise the money he's demanding and suddenly he'll move the goal posts again and again before changing the terms.  He'll say he needs the money first before releasing it and hem and haw over some convoluted arrangement for a hand-off but will disappear with the video.  Or he'll get killed in some drug den shoot-out.

The only thing I am sure of, is that this latest, salacious escapade on the part of Rob Ford, has been a godsend for the provincial and federal governments.  They can always count on Ford's municipal black hole to swallow negative attention away from personal checks to senator's from the Prime Minister's aide to cancelled gas plants, and downtown casinos.


More from the Tragic Farce of Rob Ford:

• Rob Ford an Unstoppable Machine Sent From the Future?

• The Trials and Tribulations of Mayor MacCheese

• Bike Lane Class Warfare: Middle Class VS Middle Class

Astronaut Chris Hadfield Wins at the Internet, Space, and Life

Canadian astronaut and commander of the International Space Station, Chris Hadfield, has returned safely with his crew, his mission having ignited a renewed public interest and enthusiasm.  If you are one of his nearly 1 million Twitter followers or have taken a casual glance at Hadfield's Youtube channel, you'll know that this five-month stint aboard the I.S.S. has been the most media-savvy endeavor in the history of space flight.

As in previous missions, the crew took many photographs and conducted interviews from orbit, however, Hadfield employed extensive use of social media sites to share images and video almost in real time.  His Youtube channel was consistently updated with short video demonstrations to answer questions submitted by his social media followers.

From the smallest queries about the every day tasks to the technical details, this has been a mission with which the public could fully interact.  In addition to the more common interviews and conferences, Hadfield has engaged children and adults the world over by bringing so much of his own personality to not only give a face to space exploration in the time of social media, but prove that he can entertain as well as inform.




It sounds super nerdy, but outer space is fun again.  This new interactive, real-time sharing of the work furthering our engagement is likely a factor in development of a potential reality TV show on Mars.  Sounds crazy, but the applications have been rolling in without pause. 

For us stuck on terra firma, Chris Hadfield and his colleagues have been able to personalize their time in orbit.  Just as the Voyager's final "family portrait" of our solar system captured what Carl Sagan pointed out with affection, our "pale blue dot," so too has the steady stream of Tweeted pics from orbit given the average observer moments to exclaim "that's where I live!" 

Which is that often rare mix of solidarity and curiosity that stirs the child in each of us, fueling the exploration and innovation of tomorrow.  Now, if you'll excuse me, I must complete my application for Big Brother: Mars Edition...

Amanda Berry Alive and Well, Despite Psychic Sylvia Browne

Amanda Berry, alive and reunited with her family, to paraphrase Mark Twain "The psychic predictions of my death were exaggerated."

On an episode of the Montel Williams Show in 2004, self-proclaimed psychic medium Sylvia Browne looked into the face of Louwana Miller and told the mother of a missing daughter, "she's not alive, honey."  A year later Louwana, having given up hope of ever seeing her daughter again, died of heart failure.  Friends said she died of a broken heart over the loss.  And then her daughter, Amanda Berry, one of three missing girls, escaped her captors after ten years held hostage.

It's happened before, though tragically rare as a lightening strike on a clear day, that a missing child returns to their family alive.  Rare enough that Sylvia Browne has felt confident when facing a terrified parent to take a statistically safe shot at affirming the worst.  But it's not so rare that she hasn't been absolutely 100% wrong more than once.

Sylvia Browne has built a career out of convincing people who already believe in the paranormal that she is a "vessel from God," but like most hucksters, con-artists, and mountebanks, she likely has come to believe her own deception.  However not enough to submit herself to any objective test of her ability. 

For years magician and professional skeptic James Randi has offered a $1 million cash prize for anyone able to demonstrate a paranormal or supernatural ability.  It's up to claimants to design their own test and decide how best to go about it so long as it's carried out under proper observing conditions.  Sylvia herself once agreed to take the test during an appearance opposite Randi on Larry King Live.  Needless to say, there has been no further discussion on her end.

It comes down to this, if we discovered a human being with a genuine psychic ability they would be the single most important person in history.  This would be an individual who at the very least would be an adviser to the United Nations, one who would need to be protected from every religious leader who would bid for his or her services.

This person would focus instead on helping us answer the most difficult moral and scientific questions in everything from alleviating human suffering to understanding quantum mechanics.  They would be far bigger than Dr. Manhattan from The Watchmen and that's just if they used their ability only for good.

Louwana Miller died a year after Sylvia Browne told her more or less to give up all hope of ever seeing her daughter alive again.

A genuine psychic human being would not be sequestered in dark parlors reading palms or holding seances, nor dishing about celebrity break-ups on daytime talk-shows.  And to the parents of a missing child, so gripped by terror and desperation that they'll try anything, they would not so dismissively, to quote Penn Jillette, "piss all over them for a buck and fifteen minutes of unearned fame."

It's not just cruel or immoral -- it's pure evil.