How old white people suddenly found 4Chan and now understand the internet.
Let me be clear, there are worse things than death. Rapists and pedophiles deserve no sympathy, and no peace, but should be hounded and chased to the very gates of hell itself.
That being said, this legislation strips away rights of law-abiding citizens and creates a glass prison for every person in Canada, good, neutral or bad. It paints Karla Homolka with the same scrutiny as Terry Fox. I urge you to contact your local MP.
At some point, someone sent The Honourable Vic Toews a super sweet video that has two girls sharing one cup (Come on Vic, it’s the Stanley Cup, I SWEAR….Google it with safe search off). In response to this video we shall create 1984.
Not understanding the difference between poop and pederasty, the Federal Government of Canada introduced legislation that essentially forces internet providers to monitor and track whatever you type or look at, and store it just in case. Every email, every website, every image. "And if ye ain't with us, then sonny-boy you'se is 'gainst us..."
You know that scene in the Dark Knight where Morgan Freeman gets pissy with the Bats for wanting to snoop on everyone – well at least Bats had the good sense to blow it all back to fucking kingdom come. Morgan Freeman was pleased. Well this legislation makes that monitoring system more than permanent. It turns your smartphone, cellphone, laptop, desktop, tablet, heck TV or Xbox, into an ankle bracelet, 24/7.
But hey, monitoring citizens is pretty common around the world: countries do this all the time -Iran, North Korea, Burma, Egypt, Nepal, China (you know, the "bad" guys).
A Bit of Background
While they were a minority government, they "had" to debate and get opposition parties on board and modify policies and legislation to pass them. They Prorogued Parliment (shut it down because no one agreed with them) four times in two years).
The Federal Government of Canada, the once beloved happy progressive Canada was literally rebranded the Harper Government by the majority election winner, the Conservative Party of Canada. They won an election that was triggered when the minority gov’t became the only party in the history of the Commonwealth to be found and held in contempt of Parliment.
That's right, the good people of Canada rewarded wrong with a majority government. The fallout from this elections means there is no need for debate on any legislation. An Orwellian agenda is being crammed down the throats of Canadians who are just happy because someone is touching their genitals in the form of minor tax break (who needs to fund health care). Don’t fight it, your furor is now useless, House of Commons.
Culturally our country is in a death spiral, contented and fed pabulum of reality TV and consumer whorism. People are less engaged than ever and the Government is capitalizing on it.
Only the Senate can stop legislation, but Harper continues to stuff the Senate, even with people who can't get elected. So who cares if the government is going to peek in my computer?
So what the fuck does "Lawful Access" mean?
This whole mess may have just been ignored by the population. After all, this was a population that gladly welcomed the Crime Omnibus that made growing 5 pot plants gaurantee a mandatory 14 year jail sentence, which is more than pedophiles receive.
It would have remained a blip, but Vic Toews opened his mouth:
"We are proposing measures to bring our laws into the 21st century and to provide the police with the lawful tools that they need," Mr. Toews said to the MP for Lac-Saint-Louis, Quebec. "He can either stand with us or with the child pornographers."
No one is defending pedophiles and rapists. Lurking within the legislation is the clause that waives the requirement of a warrant to access your personal information. This means record companies could find out who downloaded copies of a record and sue them out of existence. As a record executive could just file a theft report to police because any police officer could access that information. This can herald McCarthy-era trials trials, because you researched terrorism for a paper at university once.
As I opened with, there are things worse than death. Rapists and pedophiles need to be hounded and chased to the very gates of hell. I will happily chase them, even if it destroys me.
This legislation is not how you do it. This legislation puts a gun to the back of every Canadian’s head and waits for you to stuff up. BLAP. Brains all over your screen, pedophile or not, because there are no conditions set out in this. It would have to be created later by the Supreme Courts on what counts as an invasion of privacy as opposed to just monitoring everything you ever search. EVER.
Judging by his moustache, Vic Toews wants to be Commissioner Gordon. Instead he is part of a machine that silences dissent. Which is too bad, it is a sweet mustache unfortunately attached to a one of the visible heads of the hydra of belligerent old people who are scared of change and are somehow convinced that returning to some fantasy Norman Rockwell painting of the 1940’s will somehow make the country greater.
The Great Dominion of Canada is under assault from within. How bad is it? Even the right-wing pundits of the oft-maligned National Post (really they are a smart witty and sardonic paper that does have right and left-leanings, but is best at calling shenanigans on everyone) have slammed on the breaks.
When the pundits who are normally staunch conservative supporters of Harper are inclined to "stand up alongside the child pornographers" you have a serious fucking problem. Worse for Vic, ANONYMOUS has leveled thier barrels at the Harper Government, the bullet has Vic's name on it.
But hey that is okay! Long guns are great and anyone who tries to control them are in step with Hitler. Giving plenty of ammo to pundits, this sweet redneck party threw a cocktail party to celebrate the end of the long-gun registry. Long guns don’t hurt people, nope, unfairly punishing the good people of Canada. THEY HAVE NEVER, EVER, EVER BEEN USED IN A CRIME.
What do I know? The very act of writing this article probably put me on several Government watch lists. I dissented, and committed a thought crime. I talked about growing pot, catching and punishing pedophiles, and questioned the Government. I armed myself with science, history, and logic. Our parents and grand parents didn’t fight and die for freedom just so we could lapse into a coma and welcome it being taken away. I am part of the dying breed of debate, compromise and democracy, what about you?
But hey if you are on the Gov’t side in this debate, I am sure you would have no problem walking up to me on the street and explaining every lovey-dovey text message you sent, every picture you took and uploaded to Facebook, every website you visited (even if it was just for curiousness sake), or any illicit you and your partner took on your honeymoon. With this legislation, every song legally and illegally downloaded, every how to cure your yeast infection or dick warts, every item you ever looked up, can belong to our overlords.