Brian Burke Sues Internet for Making Fun of Him
Former Toronto Maple Leafs GM, Brian Burke has launched a defamation lawsuit spurred on by allegations that he engaged in an affair with Sportsnet anchorwoman Hazel Mae. Burke claims in his suit which he has filed with the B.C. Supreme Court that these rumours of an extra-marital affair (and that this illicit union produced a child) have caused damage to both his and Mae's reputations as well as put a strain on their own families.
I'd totally verb the adjective-noun.
Now who could possibly have leveled such slanderous, if unsubstantiated smears at this man -- an NHL insider angered by Burke's cozy extension of Ron Wilson's contract? Perhaps a disgruntled Leaf fan, still reeling over the contentious 2009 Boston trade? Nope.
The cause of this Supreme Court case: some anonymous comments on the internet. Thus Burke has now opened the litigious barrel of monkeys that Donald Trump constantly threatens to let loose when people poke fun at his hair. As asinine as The Donald's tantrums tend to be, at least his antagonists like Rosie O'Donnell have the balls, giant, manly balls that we all knew she had for the longest time, to talk shit in public. The person who gets upset is still a weenus for crying "lawsuit!" but they could potentially have something of a case.
But if Brian Burke unleashes the full brunt of the law on some internet comments, then you and I should be allowed to submit Youtube as evidence of all kinds of stupid shit. Can I sue 9/11 Truthers for being mentally retarded? What about anyone who argues about religion in the comments of a Richard Dawkins video? If they level an accusation at me to the effect of:
"sir, I submit to you that I have heard it remarked that you engaged in sexual congress with your own matriarch and that the progeny of that union was of the porcine variety, currently residing at the childhood farm of your father..."
Can I sue them for defamation? At least I stand by any bullshit I write or blab about and that's my fat fuckin' face off to the right ------------------------>
Surely Toronto's Mayor can sue somebody over the allegations of alcoholism?
The point is, it would be totally different if some Canadian tabloid shit-rag like the Toronto Sun or the Star featured a named source making these allegations, but if it's coming from some online forum, (the username of one of the commenters is Slobberface for Christ's sake!) -- WHO GIVES A SHIT? Mr. Burke, please grow a pair-- that stuff ought to roll off your back like water off a duck, speaking of which, hurry back to Anaheim, I hear the water fowl are lovely on the pond.