The Tragic Comedy of Mayor McCheese

Even though this pic is being circulated it isn't from the video itself, also the fellow with only one finger on the left, Kwado Mensah was a football player coached by Rob Ford. Mensah was shot dead April 25th.

The Mayoralty of Canada's largest city is being held ransom by a crack dealer. Just for lolz. Apparently now Rob Ford is a crack head hell-bent on destroying the reputation of his world-class city. Or he is being set up through malicious lies put forth by journalists who have had it out for him since day one. In any case, whatever the truth is, the alleged video allegedly shows an alleged Rob Ford smoking what is alleged to be crack-cocaine from an alleged pipe.

And the viable anonymous source of the video is a crack dealer who originally offered the video for the price of $40,000 to The Toronto Star, a paper allegedly run by far-left elites with an alleged vendetta against the Mayor of Simpleton. Although the story was broke by Gawker, the same site which has brought us awesome documents like a former Whole Foods employees searing attack on the company, The Star had been investigating long standing claims of Rob Ford's alleged substance abuse issues, albeit nothing more than alcohol, until the Gawker story forced their hands.

Since breaking on Thursday night, we know only that three people have seen the video in question. Apart from Gawker's John Cook, two Star journalists Kevin Donovan and Robyn Doolittle have given their first hand accounts of viewing the alleged video, which has left them little doubt as to its authenticity. The circumstances of the viewings has been the same, meeting up with drug dealers in the back seat of a car to watch the screen of a phone clutched in the hand of a crackhead. You cannot deny the whole affair leaves everyone needing a shower.

What has been fascinating to watch has been the Mayor's avoidance of the issue beyond a quick "it's ridiculous, it's just the Toronto Star out to get me," which has become his token statement for every escapade during his term in office. Equally fascinating has been to watch his supporters and detractors take the polarizing positions of denial and glee.

Ford will hold a press conference on Monday in which he goddamn needs to be clear one way or the other. Either this video is real and he must resign, though it has yet to be authenticated or seen by anyone other than those who broke the story --my fav part is that the alleged Ford in the video is saying all sorts of "Rob Fordish" stuff that you would expect to hear from a parody sketch performed with sock puppets-- "I'm right wing!" "Justin Trudeau is a fag!" etc. On the other hand, the video may be some altered or otherwise elaborate forgery in which case Ford will need to come out swinging and a-suing everyone involved for defamation.

As the weekend rolls along and we wait for some resolution to the story, a campaign on Indiegogo is steadily raising the cash to purchase the video from the crack dealer, the only alleged source of the video. Myself, I'm an agnostic as yet, since there really is nothing beyond eyewitness testimony and a pattern of erratic behaviour that makes such an allegation seem possible. It's the custodian of the video that for me throws a wrench into the works for everyone as the crack dealer is now demanding $200,000 before he releases the video to anyone.

Again, the Mayor's future is being held to ransom by a sketchy crack dealer. My prediction, and I have a burger bet riding on this, is that the video is genuine but no one will ever see it. the Indiegogo campaign will raise the money he's demanding and suddenly he'll move the goal posts again and again before changing the terms. He'll say he needs the money first before releasing it and hem and haw over some convoluted arrangement for a hand-off but will disappear with the video. Or he'll get killed in some drug den shoot-out.

The only thing I am sure of, is that this latest, salacious escapade on the part of Rob Ford, has been a godsend for the provincial and federal governments. They can always count on Ford's municipal black hole to swallow negative attention away from personal checks to senator's from the Prime Minister's aide to cancelled gas plants, and downtown casinos.

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