A 2014 New Year's Message from the Editor


It's been my experience that with every New Year's dawning, the best recipe for a successful resolution is to just not have one a'tall. For starters, it's a stupid childish gesture that we make in the hopes that this year, we'll tackle some visible manifestation of the underlying manic depression/psychosis/self-delusions that are slowly eating us from the inside out.

Still, if someone prompts you in casual conversation to divulge a New Year's resolution, here are my favorite token answers:

The internet has been rife with all sorts of "best-off" and memorable moments of 2013 so I shan't bore you with another one of those save to point out a couple things I notice about myself as this year moves forward.

Of course, it's never too late to start hating hipsters.

Frankly, I'm still a young man but I know I'm getting older because I can't tell at first what gender most people are. Also I've reached the point where I can no longer look at any newspaper or site that's produced in North America and get anything close to an accurate picture of what's going on. (Examples of worst offenders include, in Canada the CBC and in A'murica, CNN. I suggest that Russian site, RT or anything straight from Associate Press, feeders not news infotainment turds).

But I digress. Getting back on topic, I can suggest a couple positive notes for the New Year. If you are planning to take a shot at a resolution, aim wide would be my advice. It might seem counter-intuitive but I have found greater success when you set a large project for the year that's made up of components and smaller goals along the road.

For example if you go with the token "get in better shape this year" resolution, don't just join a gym or change your eating habits for a month -- do a complete inside out overhaul of the shit that's making you a fat sloth who downs entire pizzas in one sitting while binging on obscure 80's cartoons.

Change not just your food but the time you go to bed, wake up, where you have to be on Thursday evenings when not at work (pick an external obligation like volunteering somewhere, food and literacy are always looking for people). Get an accountabilabuddy, someone with similar goals to yours with whom you can get into a reciprocal groove of encouragement, shaming, and kudos.

Or, if you're like me, accept the perfection that has been set before you as the burden you bear. Fill the house with more pictures of your face and go on and treat yourself to something real nice, Clarke.

With Love,

Your humble servant,

Michael Orwell Allen

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