Why We Should Be Grateful For Tinder

As evidenced by articles like this one in Toronto Life Magazine, Tinder has skyrocketed to the forefront of a post-modern dating reality, one in which convenience is king and the middle-upper class dating pool seems to never end. In fact the best way to bury a bad swipe right is too just ignore it and keep on swiping!

While a general disgust for this kind of cold and transaction-based method of human relationships is prevalent (read the comments to the article above), I'd like to play Lucifer's lawyer and propose a silver lining because Tinder has indeed revolutionized dating for the better. All of the world's narcissists, sociopaths, and just downright assholes have been self-consolidated into an easy to use app where you can see them. And avoid them.

Remember Jared? That finance dick who slapped around Julia at last summer's barbecue because she wouldn't move in with him? Yeah, he's there. What about Tiffany? She lied about having herpes and infected Bob but not before sleeping with one of his friends behind his back while they were engaged. She's there too!

These people need Tinder like an addict needs a drug. A drug that prevents them from confronting brutal childhood memories and self-destructive patterns. Sex really isn't in play here as you're dealing with A-type predators, people who need to "conquer" and "win." Never mind making love, you would have never even had sex with them so much as they were going to masturbate into/onto you.

And you can't blame Tinder or its creators. They didn't cause this influx of damaged people, like flies fighting for prime seating on a light bulb. You can indeed meet decent people on the app. But while not everyone on Tinder is dysfunctional, it's arguable that most dysfunctional people are on Tinder.

"But what if I'm an enlightened, progressive individual who wants to engage in respectful, consensual, casual sex?"

If you're emotionally/physiologically healthy then you're going to be sifting through a lot of digitally transposed trauma to get to what you want. It would be like a guy who enjoys smoking pot once or twice a week going to an underground black market in Bogota to buy his drugs. Yeah, there are better (read: safer) avenues for that.

So stay off Tinder (unless you're using it ironically). You're muddying up the pool of jerkoffs for the rest of us.

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